Another Chapter in my Life Closed...Yet Again...

Yup...I know. I have resigned again from another company. This is really starting to become a habit but one I really don't want to get addicted to.

I do have several reasons why I left though. Despite the high salary, I don't think that they still pay me enough to do what I had been doing for them. (Although, if my sister would read this, she would wish that she was back in Manila to whack me in the head since she has been doing almost the same thing in government salary...although, I would say that it doesn't really count since the reward from all her suffering is an assignment in the Laplands where as here I am...still in the same place where people have left me).

At my defense I really did try to suck it up and just keep at it just for the sake that I have something to bring home to every pay day. But it just got to the point that sucking isn't really doing it anymore. As I enumerate the reasons, I know a lot of them are really shallow but heck, to each his own:

1. I haven't been able to breathe properly for the longest time. In fairness to them, I have been having trouble even before I got there. But when I started working there, it just got worse and worse everyday that it's really a struggle for me to take a breath now. I feel that no air is coming into my lungs and deep breathing which was working before isn't really working that well anymore now. As I am typing this, I try to take deep breaths but it's still feels like my lungs isn't filling up. I don't know if it was the altitude that made it worse since we were working on the 35th floor after all and the airconditioning was really strong and pointed at me that I might be suffering from Carbon Dioxide poisoning of some sort.
2. Cockroach infestation. The whole building I think is literally crawling with them that everywhere I go I would see one crawling. We kept on spraying Baygon everyday before we go home but they still come and they always bring a friend with them. It was tolerable at first right until my last day, we have been whacking cockroaches one after another. I fear that even the water that we drank have some sort of contamination from them.
3. I have so many bosses. Well, that couldn't be helped since I was after all handling their travels. But it got to the point that they expected me to be 5 people all at the same time. My greatest respect to Jaja for doing that everyday for I think 3years already. She's indeed Superwoman but I guess when it comes to this, I am human after all.
4. Handling of travels made me teary eyed. I have known for a long time now that my sister was leaving the country before she actually had a specific date. So, an emotional person that I am, it was really hard to look at passports, looking for flights, asking about Schengen Visas and everything without me thinking that my older sister would be leaving soon. And it's not really just my sister...my younger brother is also planning on leaving the country as well. So my whole family would be away leaving me here. It's just hard to concentrate at work when you have that looming at the back of your mind everyday.
5. I still work even during lunch break. Since I stay in the office for lunch, any phone calls, any messengers arriving, anything work related would be done even if I have a spoon in my mouth. I was suppose to have an hour break but it would usually be reduced to 15-30 and I would immediately get back to work. I don't really have time to relax and catch up with life.
   
6. In connection with no.5, the extended work period is very frequent. Almost everyday. I get to the office at around 830 or 845 and I would go home around 7-ish. People there don't seem to have any sense of time whatsoever. And since I live far south, I get to go home around 9 or 10 depending on the traffic in SLEX.
7. I didn't get to write at all. I took this job thinking that I'd be able to scribble some stuff before I start to work since work does start at 9 but I get in the office at around 830-ish and already I needed to start working. And when I get home, I would be too tired to grab a pen. My muse has returned, and I have a lot of ideas on my mind but I have no time to put it on paper. I am afraid that my muse would leave me again because I'm not using her anymore. They did attempt to let me write articles for them on the latter part of my stay but I was out of the grove for the longest time and getting back on the horse was hard for me, especially with the kind of articles they wanted me to write.
8. I wasn't allowed to learn a different language. Actually, this was really that one that annoyed the hell out of me the most because they gave me hope that I would be allowed to study (and I didn't really care that time if it was my own expense). I went to look for a school for a foreign officemate of mine and since I was already looking I also checked out the languages that I wanted to learn. I told this to my boss and he said it was a great idea and I would be allowed to adjust my schedule so that I can attend the classes. When the day came that I already have the schedule and told my boss this, he said that it was now impossible for me to adjust my schedule. I was really annoyed. I was wishing that they told me it was impossible to begin with than have my hopes up like that only to be dashed. It honestly made me feel like I wasn't allowed to improve or progress there.
   

There are other reasons but this is like the main 8. I know that these things are really just something typical of a company but like I said, to each his own. It might be because I was so used to the gaming industry setting that veering off into the unknown was a real shock to me. But then again, an office is an office however which way you put it and I have adapted well in other places before and I had experience worse conditions that the ones mentioned above but I stuck to it. But then again, I was allowed to move up in the world in the other industry and I was allowed creative freedom there as well.

And then it also did occur to me that maybe the office setting isn't really for me and I really have to find something that doesn't really require me to stay an office the whole day. Health wise, the conditions in that office was really bad, I'm really afraid that I might not breathe properly anymore.

Anyway, I am waiting for something in January. Although I am crossing my fingers that it will push through. In the meantime, my sister left me with a lot of things to do for the house that I'm making that my priority while I'm on break. And here's hoping that I could squeeze in a writing gig or two.

Bon Voyage, Jie!

As I'm writing this entry, my older sister is on her way to the airport to go to Helsinki. She'll be there for 6 years.

I honestly can't help but feel so all alone now. The one female who I had considered not just my sister but my best friend is off to finally live her dream. The only girl who had understood me the most will no longer be at my side. The only girl who could understand and tolerate my weirdness, my pathetic ways, my choice in guys and my choices in life will be miles away with an 8 hour time difference that would make communicating really difficult.

She just left about 30 minutes ago and already I miss her. She's my strength, my sounding board, inspiration, my hero. Right now, I feel so lost as to what to do. I had always counted on her in almost everything I do with my life and now that she left I feel numb. The fear of everything going wrong is already seeping in and she's not there to reassure me that everything will be okay in the end.

I'm going to be filling in very big shoes. It's daunting but I have make her proud of me. I need to reassure her that she doesn't need to worry.

As I cannot think straight today, I'll just leave this entry in it's confusing form and just say farewell to my Jie jie and have a safe journey to Helsinki.

Mission Complete

The crazy things I do for my siblings...this is one of them.

Ever since we learned that my older sister liked a specific kind of cake for her birthday, I try my best to save up and buy her a custom made cake from Goldilocks every year. And every year since it all began, I try to make the cake unique each and every time by changing the dedication written on the cake. There's the usual "Happy Birthday 'Te!", "Happy Birthday Ate from Us!" and so on. Last year, it was "Sheng Ri Kuai Le, Jie Jie!". This year, I took it up a notch and tried something different for a change. This is where my adventure began. I called it Operation: Birthday Cake.

While thinking of what dedication to write for ate's cake, I remembered the message that was written on her cake the year before. So, I actually thought of doing it again but this time instead of greeting her, I'll be greeting someone else who has the same birthday as her. But then, it would just be like an ordinary birthday cake and it would end up not for my sister. So, I starting thinking of something else to do but told myself that if all else failed, I'll revert back to the greeting-another-person-on-her-cake plan.

On my way to work, I remembered going to a party where the cake had a picture of the celebrant. Then, it hit me. I'll give ate a picture cake for her birthday as well. But instead of her picture, I'll put a picture of ate's idol, Calvin Chen (Chen Yi Ru). That's when Operation: Birthday Cake began.

That same day on my way home, I stopped by the bakeshop and asked how much and the process of how they will be making the cake. When the clerk found out the date when I needed the cake she told me that I need to give a picture now so that it would be ready on October 10.

That gave a small dilemma for me since the picture that I wanted wasn't with me at the time, but I did have another picture of Calvin that I was thinking as a second choice. So, I hurriedly went to a camera shop to have the a digital photo printed. It turned out that the minimum picture that they could print out in digital format was 6 pcs. It was already 8pm and the mall closes at 9 so thinking that I won't make it if I went home, have the picture printed there and then go back to the bakeshop, I thought, 'what the heck, have them print out six copies of the same picture!'

I told the sales lady this and she smiled and commented, "'di ka naman obsessed?"(you're not obsessed, are you?). I just smiled and answered, "wala akong choice. Isa lang naman talaga kailangan ko eh." (I really only needed one, but I have no choice.)

So, armed with the 4R version of the Calvin's pic, I hurriedly went back to the bake shop and placed my order.

When I got there, I gave the clerk the picture and she looked at it and asked, "sino 'to?" (Who's this?)

I smiled and answered, "boyfriend ng ate ko!" (My older sister's boyfriend!)

So, she began to get some information on the type of cake and some other details when I saw that she had put "boy" on the information sheet, indicating that the cake was for a boy. I hurriedly said that it's not for a boy but for a girl. "Ate ko po yung may birthday, hindi boyfriend nya," (My sister's the one having the birthday, not her boyfriend) I explained.

Then I started to add some details when she made a comment that she thought it was for the boyfriend, "tumawag kasi sa akin si Kuya Arthur na bilhan ko raw ng cake si ate. So, naisip ko na picture na lang ni Kuya ilagay ko para kunwari sya yung nag-gi-greet." (Kuya Arthur called me and asked me to buy the cake. I thought of putting his picture in the cake to make it look like he's the one that's greeting her.) I got the name Arthur from one of the characters that Calvin portrayed in a drama. The guy's name in the drama was Wang Ya Se (english translation is Arthur King).

Anyway, the clerk who was taking my order smiled and said, "Swerte naman ng ate mo." (You're sister's really lucky.) I just smiled as I got my invoice and paid for the cake.

When I got home, I hid the receipt and the pictures to hide the evidence until the day I would pick up the cake. The wait was really unnerving since was thinking of different scenarios of my sister's reaction about her cake.

Anyway, the day came and I went back to the bakeshop to pick up the cake.

When I gave my receipt the releasing area, I immediate saw the cake because the picture of Calvin was taped there. When the clerk handed me the cake he asked me, "Sino to?" (Who's this guy?) I repeated my claim that the guy in the picture was my sister's boyfriend.

He then replied, "Akala ko yung lalaki sa Boys Over Flowers." (I thought he was one of the guys from Boys Over Flowers.) Thinking that he was one of the actors who was part of the Korean remake of the Japanese manga "Hanayori Dango".

Then he proceeded to ask, "Koreano?" (Is he Korean?)

I answered, "No, he's Taiwanese."

"Sya yung may birthday?" (He's the one with the birthday?)

"No," I answered. "Ate ko. Wala kasi si Kuya Arthur dito ngayon, may work sa labas. So nagpasabi na lang sya na bilhan ko ng cake si ate. Pinalagyan ko ng picture para kunwari sya yung nag gi-greet." (No, it's my sister's. Kuya Arthur isn't in the country, he's at work outside. So he just told me to buy my sister a cake. I had his picture placed there to make it look like he was the one greeting her.)

Then I added, "Lagi syang nasa Taiwan kasi. Minsan lang umuuwi dito. Dun sila ni Ate nagkita sa Taiwan eh." (He's usually in Taiwan. He seldom comes here. He and my sister met there in Taiwan.)

He gave the same comment that my sister was lucky. I smiled and then went home.

Operation: Birthday Cake was coming to it's final phase.

When I got home, I showed it to my sister. And the smile on her face was really rewarding.

So, Operation: Birthday Cake was a complete success. My sister was really happy with her cake and I got to use my story telling abilities to come up with something crazy like that. I guess my muse is back. :)

Mission Complete. End mission log. :D (Pictures of the cake were posted here).

Smile!

Last week our country was hit by a great calamity. Typhoon "Ondoy" (international name is "Ketsana") wreaked havoc in the country, flooding almost 90% of the country's city streets. No one expected it since there was only heavy rain and no strong wind, but by lunch time of Sept. 27, 2009, we have heard news of devastation left and right in the areas of Cainta, Marikina, and Pasig.

Our area was lucky enough to be spared from all that. We have electricity, water and food but there were a lot of areas surrounding us that weren't that lucky.

Watching and listening to the news of the fate of my countrymen, it was really heart-wrenching. Seeing people leaving their homes and looking hungry, cold and drenched would really move you.

But despite all that, you would also see the genuine smile of their faces whenever the cameras focus on them. You would be able to see them wave to an unseen audience and smile whole-heartedly despite the calamity they have just faced. They smile, despite the problem they would be facing. They're homeless and hungry with very little knowledge of what would happened but they are still able to smile despite the uncertainty of their future.

Smile. Even now, after another typhoon landed on our northern shores, and calamity struck again up north, we as a nation have always looked at the bright side. We see gold at the end of the rainbow. We smile despite the problems we have faced and is currently facing with rescue unable to get there on time because of problematic roads. Despite all the problems we have been encountering, we smile. We give a bright smile for the world to see and as a nation we shout, "THIS TOO SHALL PASS!"

Foreigners wonder where we get the energy to still smile despite the problem that we are currently facing as a nation. I guess it's because we are a nation who's faith in God is strong. We believe in the power of prayer and faith that with every bad thing that has happened, it would be replaced with something even better.

Faith that things will always be better has been the fuel to make us smile despite what has happened to us. It's faith that has always lifted our spirits. It's faith that He would never leave us and that he would always help us when we really need it. It is faith that made children play in the receding flood, that families pick up what's left of their property and start making plans to rebuild, and that despite us being a poor nation we give what little we can to help out those who have less than us.

We smile. And our smile would shine bright for the whole world to see because we want the whole world to know that we are a nation filled with hope. And that we will be okay. We will rise from this and would become whole again.

We are a nation of bright smiles. And I guess we will remain that way for generations to come.

Bring me...A Ruler!

It has been a year since I have started my part time writing gig as an Essays.ph writer. (Which reminds me that I have to print and submit my contract for the third time). I do have to find time to get an assignment since my regular job has been really taking a lot from me but that doesn't really stop me from going to any of their events when they have one.

When I was new in EPH (that's Essays.ph for short), I went to the very first EB in Manila. I haven't even written anything yet at that time but because of that EB, I got good pointers from veteran writers like dannfong, siriusmelai, and cecilia, just to name a few and writing came easy for me when I began to get assignments.

Anyway, the first EB was a more or less get to know you session from the people who went there and the search for a Videoke began as well. We weren't able to find a videoke bar that night so we ended up playing billiards instead with me and louise winning. (hehe...)

The next EB gave me the title "Ms. Ruler".

Again, it was a search for a videoke bar that led us to a restaurant that offers a videoke. Unfortunately, the machine wasn't working so to pass the time, dannfong took the mic and hosted a very short game of "Bring Me!"

His first and only request was "Bring me a ruler!"

Of course, no one was expecting that someone would bring out a ruler that time lo and behold, I rummaged through my bag, brought out a pencil case and produced a 6" Orion Ruler. Everyone laughed and dannfong was speechless. As for me, it was the highlight of the night and like I said, it gave me the title of "Ms. Ruler".

So, during the grand EB last August 1. When I was being introduced to other Essays.ph writers who attended, melai would always say, "This is Kirsikka. The girl with the ruler."

I do hope the next EB or event that EPH would be hosting, I would be able to attend once more. And be sure that if when that happens, I would be bringing along my most famous ruler. :)