Boredom

For the passed few days I have been down and out. Bored out of my wits and honestly speaking, even if there is so much work to be done, I kept on postponing them for the next day and the day after that and the day after that. Until now I want to just sit down, relax and just enjoy being a bum again.

Oh how I miss that day. Honestly, I really want to work. There is nothing good than doing a good job. But for the passed few days…or even weeks, I start to feel the old boredom again. My sign was when I drag myself out of bed and wishing that it’s the weekend already. That is not a good thing.

My one weakness. BOREDOM. I can do a lot of work and may be able to finish it in a day but when it’s starts becoming a routine, that’s when the boredom kicks in. I can do a job, simple and easy. But if I have been doing it over and over and over for the nth time and with nothing changing except for the content of what you’re doing, that’s when I start not having fun.

For me, if the job starts to become boring, I lose my momentum. Try as I might to make it fun and worthwhile, it seems that it won’t work.

The job that I have right now is fairly easy enough. I honestly could do the job done in a day, even half a day if because I know I’m that good. It’s just secretarial work and honestly speaking, it’s really simple to do. But it’s boring. Not to mention the people I work with isn’t actually the talkative ones. Not to mention that I work with my aunt, it’s really annoying.

I wanted to teach (stupid me to find that out when it’s only a month before my graduation). I guess it would be a job best suited for me because everyday would be something different. Everyday I get to interact with people and try to make them think of what they are saying. Everyday, there would be new activities, new lessons to learn and new adventures I can let students face. It would be something worthwhile to do. I see myself as a different kind of teacher where I would teach like Robin Williams in “Dead Poet Society” or the teachers I get to watch in “Boston Public” and Michelle Pfeifer in “Dangerous Minds” or even Danny de Vito in “The Renaissance Man”. Those are the kind of teachers I like to become. Those are the teachers that I know would actually get the student’s attention and actually start learning.

When that would happen I honestly don’t know. I wish there was someway I could stop being bored with the life that I have right now. I honestly don’t want to feel like this anymore. It’s really pulling me down and I really don’t know what to do. These are the times I wish I were dead rather than doing this. I feel like my potential isn’t actually showing and that I’m rotting in a desk that’s filled with ants.

There are so many questions that have been running through my mind. I honestly can’t think straight. I’ve been down and out. There has to be someway I could get my momentum back and not actually get trashed when doing it.

I wish I get a job that I would really like. A job that I wouldn’t mind growing old in. I hope and pray that someday, I will be able to get that job. But in the meantime, I have to live through hell.