Something To Think About

Pain was not to be rejected, but embraced. As I see it, the only true constant in reality was pain. Birth was pain, death was pain, all change require pain. To reject pain was to deny the very nature of the universe. Personal weakness distanced people from pain, which was not the worked past, but woven through one so a being could become transcendent and be transfigured into the very likeness of the gods themselves.

I based the personality of Tonnie Seawolf with this saying. Being a masochist, pain is the thing that keeps her alive. It’s her teacher as she lives her life in the world. I remembered Tonnie discussing this with her avatar, Baron Semedi. And that was a very interesting discussion indeed. When you see a teenage girl talking to a skeleton whose wearing a top hat and a cape, no you’re not crazy. You’ve just awaken your powers as a mage and you have the power to see someone’s avatar.

Tonnie Seawolf is my favorite RPG character that I had created. Her story mostly revolved on pain. She has suffered from physical pain but mostly emotional and psychological pain. If they honestly have placed her on pychiatric help the psychiatrist will have a field day. For all she has been through, I’m sure these psychiatrists will have a hard time figuring her out. Tonnie is in the verge of a breakdown almost going near the psychotic. But she’s still a person who knows how to love (she did get married and have a son) and have fun (she used to go to bar when she was a teenager) and be loyal to her friends (she’s following two of them right now to Creation).

She was the only one who survived a car crash killing her parents, leaving her to live with her grandparents. That trauma caused her to see pain in a different light. When her parents died, she started to think that pain is a way to learn something the easiest way. If you have not experience pain, then you haven’t learned anything at all.

Pain helps her to think clearly. The time when she was awaken as a mage, she saw her grandparents hanging on the wall, crucified. Alone in the world, she survived by pain. Learning everything she needed to learn while all the while getting hurt in the process. She has suffered so much that pain is already second nature to her. She lives in pain. Enjoys the hurt. Welcomes the devastation and chaos of suffering.

But with everything that has happened. She saw a new point of view. Hurting people for the sake of just hurting them isn’t what a dreamspeaker should be doing. Spirits are around us all the time and they also need protection. Tonnie lives to protect these spirits. She vows to keep them safe from all the evil they will encounter as lost souls and spirits. Because just because you’re spirit it doesn’t mean that you won’t get hurt anymore. On the contrary, spirits are more fragile than the human body because if the spirit is hurt, you won’t be able to heal it anymore. Being a spirit, you won’t have a chance to save yourself if you get destroyed by the order of reason. Tonnie protects the living while getting hurt in the process of helping them.

Pain is a way to learn. Take it from Tonnie. She has experience so much pain that she has become pain itself.

So if I were you, think about it. getting hurt isn’t all that bad. Tonnie has suffered more than you. Think that if this is real life, you won’t be able to survive what Tonnie has been through. Do not resist pain, you should embrace it or you will not be able to acknowledge how wonderful life is.