Damn Stupid Power Failure

Since this morning I wasn't having a good day. All my hard work editing the scripts needed for the Non-Playing Characters for this online gaming hasn't been paid off. I have saved for the nth time only to see that after the power surge, there was nothing there for me to go back to. I have to start from scratch yet again. This is not a very nice start of the week for me here at work.

I wouldn't have minded if it was only one time. Twice is acceptable but three times!!!!! That is too much already! I'm sick and tired of looking at the same script that I have twiced edited only to see the same script again, not change after the lights went back up.

What is going on?!? This is so not fair. I do a good damn job trying to finish my work on time and this happens!!! It's really not fair!!! I don't deserve this!!! Why does it always happend to me? It's just isn't right anymore!!!

I have been taking crap ever since the start of the year...I guess even before that. I don't know how long I will last if I keep on getting this type of crap over and over and over again. I don't know what God wants with me. He usually tells me these things. Now I don't hear anything anymore. It's not like I've turned to the dark side or anything. Maybe I'm just so angry about my life that God just wants me to blow off some steam. Well, whatever his plan is for me he'd better tell it...or maybe I'm just not listening...

Is it alright to be angry at God for all the bad things that has been happening to me over and over and over again? I mean, I don't hate Him, I'm just a stubborn angry daughter who doesn't understand what he's been trying to tell me. Have I been ignoring him or something that he just stopped trying to get through to me anymore? Am I that evil in his eyes that he wants to teach me a lesson?

If there was some way...any way I can talk to Him...He used to send me signs...Am I just blind now to all the things that he wanted me to see?

I still don't get it? I still can't see the point of me taking all this crap...

But I will not be beaten. If this is a challenge from the Big "G" himself then I'm up for that challenge. I will not take this crap anymore. If He's testing me, I'm ready.