Bumbed Out

There are days when I feel so down and out. All I want to do is dig up a hole and stay there.

Well, this is one of those days.

I'm a little lost right now. Things aren't going the way I've planned and what's more frustrating is that I can't write. I feel that all the creative juices have been sucked dry in my mind and there's not a drop left for me to use. What I'm so annoyed right now is the fact that I need inspiration and nothing is coming out.

Take for example the Neil Gaiman Fiction Awards. I have known that there will be another contest for more than three months. I had three months to think of a story that would be acceptable and would actually get me in the finals. But for the passed three months, all I could come up with was a concept. A concept that needs a lot of work. But nothing came out. I was wracking my brains for the right story. I even planned on adding the burglary of my house as an added plotline. But try as I might, the sheet of paper that I wanted to use for the contest remained blank.

What's happening to my life right now? I am lost. Wandering. Digging up another hole that I can't get out of. Welcoming nothingness once more.

I have been there before and its not very comforting to feel that I'm here once again. Why I always find myself in this situation is beyond me but I can't seem to get away. I hate this feeling. And its not helping that I can't seem to write again. My muse came back and I was happily writing, but all of a sudden she went AWOL and I don't know why. I miss her so much and I need her back but I don't know where look.

Right now, I really hate my life...and I don't know why.