Lonely Days Are Here Again

Yesterday, I just found out that my bestfriend, A.K.A. my baby brother Dean, is moving to Bulacan this May. Honestly speaking, I am a little sad about the news. I mean, it took me 5 years to find him again. After High School, I never saw him at all. Five years of wondering how he is and what he has been doing those days that we didn't see each other. And now that I've found him again, it's really good to know that we're still close as before. If he moves, it would be like those five years all over again.

Among all my few friends in high school, Dean is the one closest to my heart. Probably because I was his confidant that time. He tells me everything about his life, his family. Not only that he was sort of like my protector as well. He always waits for me when we go home, except when I have choir practice. He tries to accompany me wherever I go. He's my "walk for a cause" buddy. Usually when it was really hard to get a ride when we go home we usually walk that long way from School to SM Southmall.

He admires my older brother. He's as talented as my brother when it comes to drawing. I guess you can say that my older brother was his role model in drawing.

He never hides anything from me. He usually tells me what has been happening to him and ask for my advice in somethings.

If he moves to Bulacan, I would be alone once again when I go home. Call me a selfish b**ch but those days when we go home together was really great. If he moves, there would be no more teasing him about his girlfriends and his friends in the office. It's really sad for me to not experience that again. My extended family will again be far away from me.

Is it some kind of punishment? Friends who become really close to me just move away. Kuya Carl, my childhood friend and whom I consider as one of my bestest bestfriend in the whole world moved back to the US. He already has a family and just got divorced but he has custody of his kids. Eversince he left, I felt empty. Like I said before, we go way back to that time I was still in diapers. He was with me all my life and when he left my life almost crumbled. I was so used to him being there for me all the time when he left it was like a block hit me on the head. He emails me regularly but it's really different from him being here with me.

Same goes with Kuya Jason, my other childhood friend and whom I also consider as my other bestest bestfriend in the whole world. He died of AIDS. I can't blame him for leaving. It's not like he had a choice in the matter.

It was always the three of us together: Carl, Jason and Me. The three musketeers...we were really close. We used a nursery rhyme to be our little theme together:

Rubadubdub
Two boys and a girl in a tub
Who do you think they will be
A lawyer, A writer and a medical doctor
Want to become as great as they can be.

I wish they didn't leave. I wish they are still here with me. I really miss them so much.

As for Dean, it really saddens me to know that when they move, I would rarely see him again...maybe never. :( It's really sad. I honestly don't know what I'd do when that happens. But at the moment, while he's still lives in Muntinlupa, I'll take every moment I can spend with him to be his best last weeks in the South.

Am I cursed to see friends leave? Will I always see them move on while I stay where I am?