And It Keeps Getting Worse Everyday

I have been to the bottom of this hell hole and I have seen the core. I have been suffering a lot and I for one has had enough of it. So when I thought that finally I am now able to climb back up to the surface, fate has something different instored for me. I find myself slipping back down the bottom and the foot and hand holds that I had previously found on my way up has disappeared.

Now, let me see... the job that I am in right now has been on the rocks lately, I have been bypass in a promotion, I don't see my friends anymore, and I still have financial worries despite the help my friend Jay gave me. To top it all off, I don't get to play RPG that regularly anymore. And I have this strange feeling that my GM doesn't want to GM me anymore. Though, I don't blame him, GMing is hard work. And I guess, he wants to play as well which he doesn't get to do since he's holding the game. Some sacrifices must be made to please others. And though I feel some recentment because I don't get to play with the usual people that I use to play with, still I consider them my friends despite it all. I just wanted to know why I don't get invited to their games anymore though. No offense to Christine, I really like playing with her but I miss playing with the people who gave me the reason to play. I miss playing with the original group who helped me out when I was just learning the world of RPG. But with those people gone, I feel abandoned and set aside like a piece of meat. And with everything happening to me right now, that is not a good feeling.

Well, they have their reasons. Though, I wish that they would tell me those reasons. Speaking of which, I have yet to muster my courage and talk to my boss why I was bypass in a promotion that I know in my heart that should have been for me. I am qualified for the job than the people who took the spot that was suppose to be mine. Heck, when I was doing my job, they were doing something else very different from the supposed job description. They're not even working most of the time. But since this is all over and done with, I will just accept the fact that I was bypassed. Though, I would really like to know why.

I am sick and tired of all this. Though one solution is coming to mind, fate yet again has some funny way of telling me that it's a bad idea. Killing myself is not a solution to the problems that I am facing. And with that knowledge, I have to think of another way out of this. Dang! it's hard but I have to at least try.