A Bit Melodramatic...

For the passed few weeks or months...I'm not really sure now, I have yet to genuinely smile. I don't know...I guess I have been bogged down with so many problems that I myself put upon myself that I can't actually blame other people for what has been hapening to me and my life.

I miss smiling. Well, I do get to smile but it not as real as I use to do back when I was in college for example. Friends tell me that I have a natual smiling face that it would really be odd if they don't see me smile that day. But now, I really don't see myself in that way. I smile, yes it's true. Some people would still see the off-white teeth that I have in occasion. They might even hear a giggle or two coming from me. But to people who doesn't know me that well, it would be a natural thing. But for friends who knows me all too well, they know that there is something bothering me.

The thing is, I don't really know what's bothering me. I guess the problems that I have, however I want to be unaffected by it really is affecting me very much.

But this really needs to stop. I really don't like this facade of smiles but on the inside is the total opposite.

A smile. Just one smile is all I need for myself. I wish one day, I can achieve that.