Stress, stress and more stress

Honestly, after that wonderful weekend in Bicol, I thought that I would be strong enough to face anything.

Though, my other real reason of going to that province was put on hold (my "boyfriend" and I are back to "best friends" status) and I can't do anything about it. As for that concern, I'll just have to wait for fate to decide. I'm still crossing my fingers and praying to every saints and angels to help me out with my love life...but the good thing about it is that he hasn't closed his door on us and I still might be able to get my wish.

Anyway, with that in my mind, I thought everything would be A-okay when I get back to work...whoa and behold...more stress.

I'm in HIS shift. People who knows me would read this blog and understand. The spawn of Satan has ruled over my mornings and I dread every single day that I go to work.

I guess the reason why I just keep silent even though I know that I have most of the workload is that I don't want him to think that I can't work. I guess, I want to be better than him, especially since he got the position that I know I deserved. I just want to show people especially to my boss that he made the wrong move of chosing him instead of me. But what can I do. "I don't have the decision making skills that they were looking for."

Anyway, I know that the stress that I have is all my doing...and I know that I have to get pass this or else I would end up in the hospital again...which would lead me to either get fired because my health can't take it...which would give me more stress because I will have a hard time to go looking for a job again...and the cycle goes on.

Fear...I really hate that emotion. And it's a path to the dark side as well. But at the moment, I really don't know how to get pass this. And this is giving me more stress...