Just When I Thought...

Just when I thought that I have everything back together, another bad thing happened in my life.
Just when I thought that I can have a normal life back, fate just laughs and kicks me in the ass.
Just when I thought I am finally free from this prison I made, I seem to keep coming back to it again and again.
Just when I thought that I can love again, he doesn't even know I'm here.
Just when I thought that my life is changing,
Just when I thought I have everything in control,
Just when I thought I've finally found someone,
Well, it was just a thought.

Hohum...yet again, the old saying, "Things Happen for a Reason."
That saying, has been bugging me for the passed few days...or weeks...or months...I can't remember now. Life just seem to surprise me all the time. Everything happens for a reason, or so they say. But up to now, I can't seem to get the reason behind all of what's been happening in my life. It's really not something I can understand, though they say that it's a simple fact of life. Nothing happens without any good reason at all...or so they say. So why do I seem to not understand why my life isn't getting any better, especially my lovelife.
I can't seem to get why when it comes down to my love life, I will forever be cursed not to have one. It will always start nice. You think that you're in a perfect relationship but time will pass and then they will just leave you without any reason at all except for the fact that they just woke up one morning and realize the love is gone...
Why do I always end up in a bad relationship in the end? What have I done wrong for me to deserve being left by the one I love?
And now, I'm trying to get back to my old life but the past just keeps getting back at me over and over and over again. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. And this new guy I really like doesn't seem to know I exsist.
Life sucks at the moment...I guess it's because of the Christmas season and for the passed 4 years I was used to the fact that I have someone special to celebrate it with. But now, I don't have anyone at all. I know it will get better but I'm just wondering when it will be. Don't I deserve someone who loves me for being me and wouldn't leave me. Someone who would keep his promise that he would love me always. Someone who would be there to comfort me and care for me.
Just when I thought that I have found that someone, reality bites and this time, it bit really hard. I now see myself growing old alone while everyone else would be happy with their special someone in life.