One of the Guys

"You'd never guessed who cooked this for us....Mitch!" - LEVEL UP Inc. AGM

This phrase would be both an insult and compliment for me.

A Compliment

Why?

Because at least for once in my stay in that company I was appreciated for what I have done. At least for once, I have heard something nice about me from the people I work with.

Because at least that one time, they don't see me as "one of the guys".

Because for once, I actually felt good about myself because I was appreciated.

An Insult

Why?

Because they never would have thought that something nice would ever come out from me.

Because they think I'm "one of the guys". And for a short time, they look at me and whoa and behold...Mitch is actually a girl.

Because they've forgotten about it after they have had their fills...Never to be remembered again. It was just a passing thing...

Because for all the things that I've done, I don't get appreciated.

****

Sulking again, I see...

I guess there are some good points and there are some bad points when you're treated as one of the guys... Heck I've been treated like one of the guys since I was three years old. Heck, I even thought I was a lesbian as I was growing up because of it...Thank God I don't have that identity crisis anymore.

Yes, I was one of the unlucky few who was lost and confused. But don't get me wrong, I respect homosexuals and their beliefs...I even have good friends who are gays.

Anyway, going back to me...

It can be good to actually be one of the guys...As our AGM told me, it's not a turn off if you're one of the guys because they can easily talk to you, you get noticed more. Sad part is, they do notice you...But they still see you as a bud...Nothing more.

Being one of the guys, they assume that you walk, talk, act, dress like a guy. So when you veer off on the usual jeans and shirts to actually wear a skirt or a dress...They tease you so much, you'll end up red with embarrassment. They wouldn't say, "You look good." but rather "What's with the dress?"

Insult and compliment...Very confusing. And if you're "one of the guys" like me. You'd get a head ache thinking too much.

Don't get me wrong, I like hanging out with guys. Honestly, I'd rather hang out with them more than girls. Guys are easy to get along with, easy to feed and don't care if they have disgusting habits. Wouldn't hurt either to listen to their jokes about women, sex and cars. Not to mention that they protect you whenever something goes wrong. I guess it's mostly because I grew up having guys for best friends and having more male cousins than females (I have 15 guy first cousins and only 4 girl first cousins) that's why I like to hang out with guys more.

But still I wonder, being "one of the guys" may be fun and all that but there are times that they do forget that I am a girl beneath all of this bravado I show them. Sometimes, it really does hurt when some girls get notice with the small changes they do and with me, it's just "huh?"

I get a compliment, one or two and really, I do appreciate it. Those small compliments really lights up my day and nothing can actually go wrong when that happens. But I guess, I'm still a girl after all. I still need to feel that I am appreciated not just some sideway glance, a salute and a nod of compliment.

Though, I would still hang out with guys more than girls after I post this...All I wish is that people notice me more. Not just a sideway glance, a salute and a nod of compliment...After all, beneath this "one of the guys" look I'm still a girl at heart...And isn't that more important?