Maynard is travelling today on a plane....

A few hours from now, my older brother will be boarding a plane heading for Dubai. He'll be there for more or less 3 years...Hmm...3 years of not seeing him. 3 years of not being annoyed by him. 3 years of not arguing with him. 3 years of not fighting for computer time with him. 3 years of not spending Christmas, New Year and his birthday with him. 3 years of another member of my family away from us.

I thought I was used to it by now. My parents have been in Jeddah for 12 years now and I'm really used to them now being here. But it's really hard to everytime they go home and then after a month, they'll leave again. The same old routine. And I was used to it.

Now, it's my bros turn. He said that his flight is at 11am. When I left the house I had a brave face like I always have when my parents leave the country. I gave my brother a hug and told him happy trip. But like I always do when my parents leave, once I'm outside of our gate and out of earshot, tears began to fall on my cheeks. As I'm typing this now, I'm crying...the hell with the embarassment I'll get when my officemates see me.

I thought I was used to it. For 12 years I see my mom and my dad packing up and heading back to Jeddah. I thought that now with my older brother, it would be easier. Guess I was wrong.

I know like with my parents, I'll get used to it. But the initial pain is still there.

This will be the first Christmas I'll be spending without my older brother. He'll be in a country where Christmas isn't being celebrated. And while me, and my older sister and younger brother will try to keep the household like before, it really won't be the same.

I guess, I really have to get used to this. I'll be expecting my older sister to be leaving the country some time soon too when she will be assigned by her office outside of the country. Then my younger brother is also planning to work abroad. With every member of my family going out of the country, I have to start getting used to it in theory. But it's really hard when it's real.

I will miss my older brother, even if we fight sometimes and he annoys me everyday. I'll actually miss that. Though I still have a younger brother who also annoys me, it's really not the same. But this is what he wants and we all support him for it.

To my Kuya. Happy trip.