Looking Back

Well, 2005 is almost done and what a year it has been. I found myself looking back and realizing somethings that has happened this year.

Early in the year, I predicted that this will be a rollercoaster ride for me. Boy! I never realized how much of a ride it was until I was already riding it. This year has been very difficult. This year was really by far, the toughest I had endured.

I've lost friends this year. Friends who I trully loved and enjoyed being with. I can't blame them though...it was their decision and I respect it. I guess the challenge that was set upon us was really great that even if I try to mend the pieces together it will still be broken, never to be fixed again. It's not entirely their fault. I never thought that the truth could hurt that much. So I guess I just have to say good luck to them and hope that whatever path they take, it will be a good one. Too bad, I won't be there to see it...and cheer them on.

I've had a lot of challenges at work. Working very hard to get to where I am, and tried very hard not to be a bitch and keep everyone happy. I've done my work and them some, hoping that the position that was promised to me would be given. Instead, it was given to someone else. Though it was a blessing in disguise that I didn't get the position, I guess it still hurt a little that I have worked so hard just to get noticed, in the end it was given to someone who needs a lot more training than me. This is a happy ending though, so now, I don't really mind calling him boss.

Writing this year was really tough as well. I got some critic from my editor. It's not really bad. At least I know that I can do better.

My heart problem is erratic though...sometimes I'm great...couple of times I want to die because of the pain. I tried to be strong. But I can only pretend up to a certain extent. Anyway, I hope that I can still endure whatever challenges in the next years.

I have been through a lot. And I'm sure that I will have more challenges in the next year. But as I see it, I wouldn't have finished the ride if it wasn't for the people around me. My family has always been supportive and loving (in their own special way). My officemates and friends have kept me sane. When I lost some friends, I gained more. And they've helped me a lot this year. And writing project that would keep me busy.

All in all, I have been through a lot this year. (This would have been a longer entry if some of them weren't as confidential and private). I have learned a lot too. It's a happy kind of sad for me to end this year losing some but then again, I've gained some as well.

Happy New Year to everyone!