Splash!!!

It was very similar to a scene that you would see in a movie...

A character would be walking alone on a rainy night. Her mind was pre-occupied about the things that had happened during the day and that's when she realized that she was really miserable with her life. To add salt to the wound, a car passed by hitting a puddle, splashing her with water. She was left standing there in the rain, half-drenched and shocked at what had just happened to her.

Wiping the water off her face with the sleeve of her soaked jacket, she walked on, head held high as she continued her journey home....

Something, that I thought can only happen in the big and small screen, happened to me tonight on my way home. I got splashed with cold rain/puddle water on my way home from work. And like in the same fashion as the movies, that character has hit rock bottom in her life.

At the moment, I feel the same way.

On my way home, I realized that I'm not happy with the way things life has been going for me. I have a job that pays well but I feel empty. I drag myself to work everyday, doing the same boring routine and then watch the clock every so often. Waiting for it to turn 6pm. Going home, have dinner, sleep and repeat the cycle 4 more times during the week.

I have hit rock bottom. I'm in this mess of a life right now because I couldn't do what I have been wanting to do for a long time since I've realized that I have the talent for it. I'm miserable because I have my foot at the door and that foot has been stuck in that door for a very long time now and the door isn't budging at all. That foot is really starting to ache and I don't really know how long that foot would hold before it would finally succumb to the pain and just let the door close, leaving me outside, never to come in again.

I know I can't live like this. But right now, what choice do I have? Financially, I can't do what I want to do because I can't afford it. Life always gets in the way and I know that if I complain, I'm no better than the other people I hate because they complain too much as well.

It took a splash of cold puddle water for me to realize that I'm not happy with how my life is going right now. I have known since before that money doesn't really matter to me if I'm not going to be enjoying what I am doing. The only reason I'm staying is because I love my family and I don't really want to be a burden to them if I leave and have no where else to go to again. When I lost my job, it took almost a year to get this one and now that I'm complaining again, I just can't pack up and leave. Life gets in the way and I have to suck it up.

But should I really just suck it up? A passage from "The Alchemist" says that when someone is in pursuit of their destiny, the entire universe will conspire to aid you in your quest. All you need to do is follow the omens and it will lead you to the right path.

So, am I reading the omens wrong? Is this the reason why even if I want to pursue my dream, I still am I able to do so? Something would always get in the way and I would end up more lost.

I want to realize my dream. I want to achieve something in my life that would make me very happy and fulfilled. I just want to feel satisfied. I want to look into the Mirror of Erised and see just myself standing in the reflection with nothing but a smile on my face knowing that I am happy with my life.

I've hit rock bottom and as I look up, I know that there's a challenge that I need to face in order to get back up there.

Will I be able to see the top again? I guess I would need another splash to find out.