Here I go again...back to the drawing board.
How I keep getting myself into this situation is really getting annoying already. I just wonder why I haven't learned my lesson yet. What do I have to do to actually get it? What do I need in my life right now for things to be right?
To quote Christian Grey, "I'm fifty shades of fucked-up." That's how I really feel at the moment. Try as I might to actually attempt to step forward, I find myself going three steps back. I don't really get myself right now and its really driving me crazy (crazier than my usual crazy).
I hate myself right now. I really do. I keep going back and forth on the things that I have done and wonder what I have done to deserve this? Which deity have I offended that I find myself in oblivion wondering how to get out once more? The fact that I had gotten out of it before and find myself back inside is the one that really irritating. It's like I haven't learned anything at all!
Am I feeling sorry for myself? No, not really. Because I want to kick myself really hard if I could actually manage it. What I'm feeling right now is the fact that I don't really deserve any form of sympathy the world has to offer me. Death wouldn't even be a welcome release. I don't even feel that I deserve that out.
I see Tonnie Seawolf peeking out her hiding place. My masochist persona is slowly edging her way into the real world. Maybe a masochistic approach is more appropriate. Make me feel the burden of what stupidity that I have done and wear it like a badge to remind myself that I am a stupid idiot who deserved what life has to offer her. Suffering and pain might be a good welcome right now. After all, I do deserve it.
Am I really angry with myself. Dwelling on it maybe a very good lesson for me. Just to make sure that it's already ingrained in my psyche and that I won't ever make that stupid mistake again!
That decision made, I need to open the door and let Tonnie in. Give her the reigns at the moment and lets see what she can do for me.
25 comments:
payday loans http://www.2applyforcash.com palgalthauple Same Day Payday Loans Online whaxito [url=http://2applyforcash.com/]payday online loans[/url] online payday loans Just imagine your self owning the independence you deserve and taking management so the more you send them, the more you make.You can get a good idea of the types of problem-solving generated more than seven thousand opt-ins and recruit in excess of four-hundred individuals to my company.
http://agpaschall.com/agpaschall/?q=node/134466 palgalthauple how to make money on internet whaxito [url=http://andenipartners.com/node/36279]Earn Money Online[/url]
simply stopping by to say hi
website building software comparison http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/it/product-24553/SQLyog-Enterprise-8-0 adobe standard software trial [url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/product-31385/MS-Access-Split-Fields-7-0]gpe software for nokia n800[/url] website software dvd
[url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/category-200-203/Graphics-and-Publishing?page=3]Graphics & Publishing - Download OEM, Software Sale, OEM Software[/url] best dvd to ipod software
[url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/category-10/Internet?page=5][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/4.gif[/img][/url]
Terrific article! That is the type of information that should be shared across the
net. Disgrace on Google for now not positioning
this put up higher! Come on over and seek advice from my site .
Thanks =)
my web page - rolexoutletfreeshipping.com
Whoa! This blog looks just like my old one! It's on a totally different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Superb choice of colors!
Feel free to surf to my blog post :: cheap nike free run 4.0
What's up mates, good piece of writing and good arguments commented here, I am truly enjoying by these.
Also visit my web-site - wholesale polo shirts
At this time it sounds like Movable Type is the preferred blogging platform available right now.
(from what I've read) Is that what you are using on your blog?
Look into my web blog: cheap nike air max 95
geotorelxzp consolidate credit card debt
low interest loans
geotorelxzp debt consolidation
debt consolidation loans
Incredible quest there. What occurred after? Good luck!
Feel free to surf to my web page - fake oakleys
Heya i'm for the first time here. I found this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others like you aided me.
Also visit my weblog ... Ray Ban Outlet
Web Site buy tramadol online overnight fedex - european online pharmacy tramadol
I'm extremely pleased to discover this web site. I wanted to thank you for ones time just for this fantastic read!! I definitely savored every part of it and i also have you book-marked to look at new things on your website.
My web site :: Replica Rolex Watches
Additional Info Excuse for that I interfere … here recently. But this theme is very close to me. Is ready to help.
It's in reality a nice and helpful piece of info. I am happy that you shared this helpful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
Feel free to surf to my blog ... Replica Watches
We're a gaggle of volunteers and opening a brand new scheme in our community. Your web site provided us with helpful information to work on. You've performed an impressive process and our whole community can be grateful to you.
Also visit my page: トリーバーチ
I almost never leave a response, but i did some searching and wound up
here "Hating Myself Right Now". And I do have a couple of
questions for you if you do not mind. Is it just me or does it look like
some of the remarks look like written by brain dead folks? :-P And,
if you are writing on other sites, I'd like to keep up with anything new you have to post. Could you list of all of all your public sites like your linkedin profile, Facebook page or twitter feed?
Also visit my website ... cheap ralph lauren polo
Hi there! Quick question that's totally off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My blog looks weird when browsing from my iphone4. I'm trying to find a theme
or plugin that might be able to resolve this issue. If you have any recommendations,
please share. Cheers!
Also visit my site; コーチバッグ
What's up it's me, I am also visiting this web page daily, this website is in fact nice and
the users are truly sharing good thoughts.
Here is my web-site: クロエ店舗
Hi there are using Wordpress for your blog platform?
I'm new to the blog world but I'm trying to get started and set up my
own. Do you need any html coding expertise to make your own
blog? Any help would be greatly appreciated!
my blog; coach バッグ
Ні I am ѕo grаteful I fоund youг webpage,
I really fοunԁ you by accident,
ωhіle I wаs looκing οn Google for something else, Anyhow ӏ аm hегe now and ωοulԁ
јuѕt like to ѕay thanκѕ a lοt
for a incгedіble post аnd а all rounԁ enjoyаble blog (I alѕο
love the theme/design), І don't have time to read it all at the moment but I have bookmarked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read more, Please do keep up the excellent job.
My blog; diamondlinks review
I am actually grateful to the holder of this site who
has shared this impressive piece of writing at at this place.
Here is my website :: http://www.businessexchange.ca/blog/wpp/2010/04/16/would-you-buy-a-business-in-a-recession.html
Saved as a favorite, I really like your site!
Also visit my web-site ジョーダン
dating site for married people http://loveepicentre.com/advice/ radiometric dating of fossils africa
dating online site uk [url=http://loveepicentre.com/taketour/]rudall carte flute dating[/url] native american dating sites
teen female dating profiles [url=http://loveepicentre.com/taketour/]free dating nigeria site without subscription[/url] dating doesn't want gf move on [url=http://loveepicentre.com/user/alysa/]alysa[/url] dating internet safe
Post a Comment