A Breakthrough

Readers might have noticed that I haven't really written anything here for the passed few months. Past entries were mostly either result of online quizzes or I have embedded a song.

It's really not a secret that I have been having a hard time writing these passed months. I felt like all the created juices in my brain have been used up and there's nothing left. In the past, all I needed to do was close my eyes and a story would appear, like a clear movie in my mind. There was a stage in my life that when I close my eyes, nothing has come out. The picture is blank. It's like the DVD player has broken down and can't play anymore.

I could say that the time when the DVD Player in my mind broke down, was clearly the lowest point in my life. I couldn't focus. I was moody. I felt like the whole world came crumbling down. Why? Because with no working imagination, there will be nothing there to write about.

A friend of mine tried to help me out by figuring out why I don't have a "working DVD Player". He gave me a test by asking me what was the first thing that came into my mind. To my surprise when he asked that question, I couldn't give him an answer. What would usually be an easy quiz for me become a very hard test that I couldn't answer. That was how my friend figured out what was wrong with me. He said that my mind has become so organized that I don't have clutter in my mind anymore. For creative people like artists, it's really not a good thing to not have clutter in your mind. Great masterpieces and stories usually begins with a random thought. Without random thought, you're in deep shit.

Anyway, for the passed few months after finding out my problem, I try to clutter my mind once more by trying to get myself to relax and fill my mind with utter nonsense once more.

Then finally a breakthrough. When my friend tested me again, I gave a random thought. So random that after the celebration, both of us were wondering why I said it in the first place. But at least, I'm going on the write direction. And the DVD Player in my mind has started to work again...though no sound is coming out (probably need to change the audio/video wire at the back).

So, I'm taking it one day at a time. Hoping that one day, I could really start writing again.